live through love

Wild Horses and Falling Walls

2010-03-02T15:55:00.000-06:00

HEY GUYS!!

IM ALIVE!! :-) I am just really bad at keeping up with my mass emails!! So, this is a long one, but I figured I had to make up for the past 2 or so months of silence!

The first few things are journal entries from the past few months or so. The rest are just some updates and funny stories. :-)

Kara, you have to read all of this. :-)

9:38am January 3, 2010
These are the things that I hear when I close my eyes: rain, pit pit pit on a tin roof , waves BRUUSH against moving sand and hiding crabs, community members chatting about what to make for lunch, wind pushing more rain hard against my house, House 6 girls talking loudly ¡Veníte vos! Mostly I hear the sweet cold rain.

This is what I smell when I close my eyes: wet, dirt, coffee brewing, cold cement floors, leaves drinking, my feet, the rat that was killed in our trap last night, the soap on my hands, tortillas being made

This is what I am toughing right now: a wooden bench, a green, squishy pen, my knees, pants black and with holes, my watch, my knotty hair, my toes, my satisfied stomach, the dirt in between my toes resting on the concrete floor of the sala

This is what I see when I (truly) open my eyes: a huge bookshelf complete with thoughts, images, stories, WORDS that allow me to leave this place in cherished moments of freedom and solitude in which the libros take my mind and leave my body here, I see a round wooden table on which games are played with our niños, I see my feet propped on the table, full of band-aids, cuts, and blisters from my recent hike in the mountains to visit Alex, I see a spoon out of place laying on the table, I see golden, shiny Christmas decorations that fell from the ceiling on to the bench next to me, I see our big, beautiful rectangular wooden table on which we break bread, our stories, and ourselves each day.

.......

I took Manuel (one of my House 3 boys) to visit his Mom (Maria). I also went with Ryan, another volunteer. Maria lives in Sico, which is about 5 hours away up in the mountains. No buses go there because it is too remote, so we had to travel by “jalon” (hitchhike) to get there. Most of the ride was on a tiny dirt road that went back and forth through jungle and mountain. The last part of the trip our ride had to put hteir car on two planks with a motor to get across a river. Sico is so tiny. It only gets electricity 3 hours a day, from 6 to 9pm. We couldn’t stay with Maria because her house is too small and unsafe, so we stayed at the “Casa Cural” (“priest house”). It was an empty, concrete, scary house with 3 lightbulbs and doors without locks. It was really dark. Since coming to the Farm, Manuel hadn’t been back to visit his Mom in Sico (it’d been over a year). She couldn’t take care of him because she is not mentally stable (or able) to take care of herself or a child (Manuel has 8 years). She is a child. Her home is smaller than my bedroom in Rochester, with dirt floors that turn to mud in rain, no electricity, bathroom, kitchen, or even a window. She has a bed, table, 2 plastic chairs and 2 radios. Her first words to us where that she wouldn’t let us leave with Manuel and that we’d never be her friend. She kept treating him in ways that made me uncomfortable. “She still thinks he’s a child,” I’d say to myself. “He shouldn’t be here”. But who the hell am I to say that? This is his flesh and blood, is it not? Part of me says- so what? Isn’t that just coincidence? Maria talked at Ryan and me for an hour about all the violent death she has has seen, how shes been beaten and taken advantage of. Manuel cleaned Maria’s house. He folded her clothes and made her bed. He washed her hair and combed it out. In a matter of minutes I saw 8-year-old Manuel transform into his mother’s care-taker.

How can this world and the world of Notre Dame: football games, classes, dances, parties... actually both exist? And what am I to be in both of these worlds?

January 6, 2010 8:14pm

Dorthy Day once said that "poverty is the pearl of great price¨.

I have trouble using the word poor here. Maybe because I see it as such a negative word? Tomorrow I take Dalila, Nolvia, Maria, Darwin, and Rosita to visit their Mom and Dad for 8 days. Where their Dad lives there is no electricity or running water. Is this poor? They were taken because their Mom could not take care of them. Is that poor? Yet she loves them enough that she gave them up to the Farm. Poor? The kids look forward to their vacation every year because they know they go to a family that loves them. I do not feel as though I am entering an impoverished setting. Life here is NOT romantic – mothers having to give up their children, working to earn $7 a week washing clothes, no protection from sickness, robbers, sexual assault, abuse, no this is not romantic. But living close to the earth, distinguishing need from want, actually feeding and clothing the neighbor that has even less- this has to be the way God calls us to live. Where we took Manuel – that was true poverty, in its worst form. I’m starting to resent that word poverty because I can’t quite figure it out. I feel our lives are impoverished of the beauty that exists here due to what we call their poverty. Again- I do not wish to romanticize. Poverty and justice are not the same. I think poverty can be powerful and full of Grace. Injustice never is.

9:45pm

I think I’m confusing poverty with simplicity.

It’s easy to “like” poverty while sitting in my secure home, knowing I have food, shelter, clothes, people to love me.

________________________________________________

So the trip I took with the 5 kiddos turned out to be an amazing time with the family. I went with another volunteer, Kristina, for 8 days. We spent 4 staying with the Dad and 4 staying with the Mom (they do not live together). The Dad (Don Santos) lives in the middle of an orange grove!!! His "town" does not have electricity, so around 7:30 everynight we went to bed and woke up with the sun around 5:45 ro 6 each morning. It was beautiful! We all (5 children plus 2 volunteers plus their sister that doesnt live on the farm...aka 8 people) slept in one room with 3 mattresses. Lets just say it was interesting to say the least haha. Becuase there was no running water, we used well water to wash dishes and take showers. Now, when I say "shower" I mean bucket shower. And when I saw "bucket shower" I mean standing fully clothed in the middle of a field dumping water on yourself. Well, if it wasnt enough that I´m a gringo, a gringo kind of taking a shower in the middle of an orange grove was quite the sight for the neighbors...haha. Its okay though, Rosita helped me with my first shower. She is 4 after all, she knows what she´s doing... :-)

Funny stories of the trip:

So, Nolvia´s brothers live in Isleta (where their Dad lives) and they have a horse. Well, some of the kids and Kristina really wanted to ride the horse, so they all did. Bareback. For those of you that don´t know this, I am so very scared of horses. SOMEHOW the gang convinced me that I should go on the horse...I believe Kristina said, "Come on, when ELSE are you gonna get to ride bareback through the jungly orange groves of Honduras?!". Okay, she had a point. All went well, until the end. As I was trying to get OFF the horse, I actually threw myself off and landed flat on my back on the ground next me me. Again, gringa puts on a show!

Also...the bathroom was an outhouse with 4 walls made of plywood surrounding a hole. Thats totally fine by me. Whats NOT fine was the time I was in the bathroom and one of the walls FELL OFF!! HA! And of course, this wall was facing the road that goes by in front of the house. Hahaha...Im pretty sure no one was walking by...but who knows!

New additions to the Farm:

We receieved 3 new children about a month ago!
We now have TWO pyschologists from Nicaragua for the next 2 years!
We also have a doctor living with us until April!

BIG NEWS:

I AM COMING HOME IN MAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! May 8th I head to Notre Dame for a few days. Afterwards I will probably head to NYC to visit Kara and my family there (YEAHH!!!) and then it shome to ROCHESTER!!! In totally, I will be in America for 3 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YIPEEE!!!!!!! I can´t WAIT!!!

Okay, Im sorry its taken me this long to get out a mass email. Its hard. Thats my only excuse. But I think about you pretty much every day.

Love,
Francesca

Chickens in Tree Branches

2009-11-28T20:01:00.000-06:00

I live now in a place where chickens spend their time in tree branches,
where Thanksgiving is shared with 60 people, none of whom are related,
where 24 gringos play, fight, cook, dream, dance, and attempt to love together,
where children come broken,
where people are both the glue and the pieces of a misshaped embodiment of God's kingdom,
where rats are just as likely to show up in the kitchen as fruits and veggies are,
where we get 20 huge boxes of ripe bananas donated that we have to eat in 2 days,
where our neighbors eat corn tortillas for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and as we struggle to finish all of our bananas,
where bananas become a form of living with others,
where a good day is when I understood more than I did not,
where "understanding" does not necessarily refer to Spanish, but often to the English words around me, to the people in community, to the children and the way the world has worked for them, to God and the way She has worked the world for our children,
where salvation is a laugh, a song, a piece of bread, acknowledgement, a hand to hold, rain, cold river water, a letter, an apple, a hug
where forgiveness is found in a glance, in a note, in the sharing of each other,
where forgiveness is lived,
where going to bed at 9pm is late,
where 8am is a late morning,
where children dancing, eating, feeling safe, singing, being children is a reason to believe that God does exist, not in-spite of their brokenness, but through it.

I live now in a place far from home, from family, friends, from all who "know" me. Life here, in that sense, is lonely at times, living with 23 people that know about 2-4 months of "me". Even with this loneliness, I feel moments of such power and closeness to the Farm that I know there is no where else in the world I should be. Of course I have (many) moments in which I would like to be other places, to be "known" and affirmed. But I always end up wanting to stay. God, Grace, and Peace are not loud and grand moments here. As I told a friend, they are in the smallest of moments. And although they are small, the carry me through every moment of doubt I've had here.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. We had a great, beautiful day in which we invited houseparents and neighbors in to our home and shared the big Turkey dinner. There were about 60 people! It was amazing. I even had 2 pieces of pumpkin pie. Who would have thought?

Funny moment of the week: playing American football on the soccer field against the other volunteers while our children watched with puzzled and entertained faces. It never really felt like Turkey Day, with hot weather, spanish, and the ocean next door. But it had a similar wonderfulness to it.

I am thankful for all of you.

La Gracia de Dios,
Francesca

2009-11-10T20:00:00.000-06:00

I hope this finds you all well, healthy, and full (of what? love, joy, God, food, all of the above...).

Well, it has been some time since I wrote, and for that I apologize. Life has been wonderfully FULL here on the Farm: new jobs (!!), new people, new responsibilities...so much. Okay, so perhaps you´d like to know my new job? Drum roll please....you are now hearing from one of the new Social Workers here at the Farm of the Child! :-) On the Farm, our children are divided in to 6 homes based on age and sex. We have 3 boys and 3 girls homes. Some houses have a set of Honduran house parents and/or a "tia" (which means aunt in spanish) that I will work with. I am the social worker of House 3, which holds the youngest boys (aged 3 to 9), and House 6, which has the oldest girls (aged 13 to 16). The House 3 boys have two tias and the House 6 girls have one tia. So, I have a great mix of age and personalities, that is for dang sure! Now, you might ask, "Francesca...what does a person in your position do?". Friends, I am still asking myself that question! But day by day I am learning more and more. Let me tell you what I have figured out so far...

My main responsibility on the Farm is to make sure that "my" houses or "my" kiddos are healthy: physically, mentally, spiritually, educationally...in every way. This might manifest itself in me getting them new clothes or bedsheets, making sure they get to the doctors if they are sick, going to parent-teacher conferences (YEAH!!! I just did those this past week!), working with the tias of each house on their disciplining methods, being aware of how the children are interacting in the house and with other children, working with the Farm psychologist...Basically, it is my job to spend as much time as possible with the niños and to know them as best as I can. Does life get any better than that?

Off the Farm, I will get the opportunity to investigate cases in which children may need to be brought to the Farm. Although we are an orphanage, most of our children are not "true" orphans, rather they were not able to live with their biological families for various reasons, be it abused, neglect, or abandonment. I, along with Sara and Sheena the other social workers, will be given the job of going out and investigating cases that are presented to the Farm...

What I am trying to say, my friends, is that in a matter of 3 weeks I have been given more responsibility than I have ever had in my entire life. It is a beautiful job, but it has already challenged me in ways I have never been challenged. I would like to take this moment to personally thank Ralph and Maureen Pennino. Never have I appreciated more the role of a parent than I have in the moments when I have had to work with our parents here on how to raise our children, how to love them in the most honest and true way, how to protect them and care for them, how to teach them and discipline them. Mad props to Ralphie and Mo, way to be rock stars and raise me. Thank you for never giving up, because I for dang sure have been overwhelmed almost every day. Granted...my job is in Spanish, so that is probably where a lot of the overwhelmed-ness stems from, ha!

Everyday I love my job more and more. It is slow work often, as it is built around growing relationships. Sometimes it is fast work when anything can happen at any moment here. But I do love it.

I have also been given small jobs at the Farm! You are now reading the words of the Co-Head of Girl Scouts, Hospitality, and one of two Librarians! I would like to note: I have never done Girl Scouts nor have I been a Librarian. I really like being hospitable, so I think this will go over well. I am just happy not to be coaching soccer...dodged a bullet there!!! :)

Here is my funny story of the week:

I was sitting with the House 3 boys a few days ago and one of them, Darwin, went off on a 3 minute tangent on how beautiful polar bears are (Aunt Amy, can you think of anyone similar?...). This led to the following conversation:

José Pastor (another house 3 boy): Do they have polar bears in the USA?
Me: Yes, but in the zoos.
José: Do they have penguins?!
Me: Yup, but again, only in the zoos.
José: OH! Do they have...ohh, what are they called...? ::stern face::
....They are like this (making his hand parellel with the ground about 3 feet high)
Me: A type of dog?
José: Um no.
Me: A type of cat?
José: Nah.
Me: A type of bird?
José: No, it's a type of human!
Me: What now?
José: You know! They have the hands that do this ::acts out a floppy hat::. And they are only men. And they come out at night. And they work ....FOR SANTA CLAUS!!!
Me: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Yeah, I don't know the word in Spanish....

At this point I realize that I am on-par with a 7 year old Honduran boy both in mental reasoning and in my level of Spanish. Thanks be to God. I love these children.

Another high point of my past few weeks has been Thursday mail day!! I LOVE LETTERS!!! Thank you SOOO MUCH for everyone that has written me, both via snail mail and email. I am working my hardest to write you all back and I am determined to respond to everyone!

Okay friends, that is all I have for now. I think of you all so often and pray for you every morning. I am sure by now winter is starting to come, oh how I miss it! But we are now in the midst of rainy season, and it is beautiful! Definitely a bit crazy sometimes, as we have to cross 7 rivers to get to the Farm and sometimes the rivers are too high to come and go. But it provides a great opportunity for one-on-one community time!...

I love you and think of you all the time.

Please pray for my kiddos, some of them really need your prayers.

La paz,
Francesca

I Only Have Three Things to Say

2009-11-07T09:47:00.002-06:00

Hi all,

Im sorry that I dont have time to give you a personal update of my life, but I felt the need to pass this poem on to you. It was written by Joel, a child from the Farm who is just about to graduate High School and enter in to the last phase of Farm living. He will be going to college next year. His words are amazing. (He wrote it orginally in Spanish, but its been tranlated here. If you want to see the orginal go to the Farm´s website and look under "journal".

I miss you and love you all.

Love,Francesca

PS UPDATE to come soon I promise.

I Only Have Three Things to Say

Here I am, pen in hand
with paper anxiously waiting
for the quill’s fine point
to scratch across its skin.

Once again, it asks,
“What will you say to me today?
What will you tell me?”
The pen takes life in my hand
and I begin to write…

What I relate — I say to the pen —
is a very important chapter in my life.
I could make something up,
fooling even myself,
but to my own life, I must be true.

I am young still,
but to relate what I must tell you
demands a return to my infancy.
Let me return to years past
so that you understand, how I arrived
in the bosom of this great family.

In this manner I began to relate my life.
I say to the pen — it was many years ago
but my memories remain intact
as though it all happened yesterday…

I was born in Olanchito, in mountains of
green pines.
I had a mother…
And when I was nine,
I had a father for two
short months.
He’s always been my father,
but never been FATHER.

As many in Honduras, my mother suffered
the consequences of being a single mother.
She had six children and simultaneously
was mother and father.

Maybe this explains her absence at
home and my living alone with two
older brothers.
I have never said “mom” or “dad”
because in my family, MOTHER was my
grandmother and Martha was mother.

Did we attend school there?
Yes, I remember being forced to go
as my grandmother was raised by the old
“Stubbornness is treated with a stick.”

About 1998 my grandmother dies.
She dies of cancer I don’t know where —
I was a child.
Two years later, my mother becomes sick
and is bed-ridden.

Every day I would get up,
and walk half an hour to bring home
the milk.

My other brothers roamed around
going to the market or hanging out in
the streets.

My eldest brother smoked.
At twelve, he would enter discos
and shine shoes.
Our friends were gangsters,
thugs, people of the street
who now are in the cemetery.

In 1999, a North American
appeared in our house,
proposing that we go to a“Farm of the Child.”
My first thought was that there must be
bananas there,
or children that grew bananas.

At the end of ’99, I lost my mother.
How I wish that she were here today
and could see my accomplishments.
She lives and will always live in my memory,
soul, heart and mind.

In 2000, we arrived at the Farm.
I still remember the frustrated face
we each had.
I still had not realized that theFarm of the Child
was a mother sent by God
to replace the vacancy in my heart.

God saved me and gave me His hand.
All my friends in Olanchito are dead.
They became gangsters.
They took the wrong path and lost.
Poor guys, they didn’t have a hand
to guide them,or maybe they did, but were too late
in realizing.

When I arrived at the Finca, I was a rebel,
not to the same extent as my brothers,
but each of us fought and wanted to
be in charge.

I didn’t understand when my mother
became sick,
I, who slept by her side and brought
her the juice
I’d earned throwing out trash at the
fast food joint.
There were times when my brother would
find me out and rob me of my food.

My mother, upon becoming ill,
would kneel and stay near her bed
in silence.
And I?
I was filled with fear.
Only now do I understand that
she was praying.

I was at my grandmother’s side
when she departed this world.
I was there when my mother died
and left never to return again.

I only have three things to say:
Thanks to God.
Thanks to the Farm of the Child.
Thanks to all who make possible
this work of mercy.

Yes, I am grateful to this great community
that is my family
because it is my second mother,
because it scooped me into its arms
and gave to me its entire heart.

Thank you
for being in the night of my life…
a Star.

And with a sigh of triumph,
a flash of lightning on the paper
and the pen ceased,
limiting itself to sign:
by Joel Álvarez (Menocal).

Scorpion on ma shoulder!

2009-10-10T18:14:00.000-05:00

Hi all,

Just for the record, I will not be updating my blog every week. Unfortunately, I do not have the funds or time for that, haha.

I hope all is going well for you out there. Life here in Honduras is more than amazing. I have had my ups and downs in the past week and a half, but grace has been so present throughout it all.

Highlights from the past week:

-Our power and water went out on Thursday, so we got to bathe ourselves in the river ten minutes away under a sky bursting with stars. It was a great time, and suprisingly, no one fell as we climbed in and out of the river, haha.

-My new form of weekend entertainment for the next 2 years will be: dances with the children, a movie every 2 weeks, walking down the beach to have a beer, reading a book into the wee hours of the night, playing cards with children and or community members, or simply sitting in front of my house, watching the waves. Perhaps even night swimming with the jelly fish.

- I counted 19 yellow, blue, and white jellyfish during a 10 minute walk on the beach yesterday.

-I live on beach front property…which means I can see, play in, and be next to the ocean everyday.

-I had a scorpion walk across my shoulder and down my arm. He didnt sting me though…thankfully.

-No more children have called me fat…how sad… :-)

We (the “newbie” volunteer group) have been going through our orientation to the Farm for over a week now. Orientation will officially end next Thursday when they tell us what our jobs will be (YIKES!) I am a bit terrified, but trying to be open to whatever they will give me. Heres a journal entry from today:
.........
I am scared for what is in store for me, God. I can´t believe how often I let this fear control my wants and needs. It pushes me away from doing things I am scared to fail. I need to trust in you God. Trust in you and my community.. Who am I to choose how to use the gifts you have given me? Who am I to limit myself in ways that prevent the world from receiving the person you have created?
I am so weak, so imperfect.

There´s a prayer, and it goes like this:

I can´t. You must. I´m yours. (Oscar Romero)

Lord, I can´t do this on my own. I need community, love, and support. I need the food that the people here give me, the love that they share with a complete stranger. I need the support of the community member who squeezed my hand during prayer yesterday in such a way that I could tangibly feel Gods presence, Gods embrace in my life as if to say: I AM here and we WILL get through this. You must take me as I am. You must guide me, for I so often am blinded by fear: of failure, of succes, of growing close to those around me. God, I am yours, do with me what is necessary to care for these children, to give them the best life possible here on the Farm. I give myself to you, world. I have gifts and I have flaws. I am human and so imperfect. But I love this place, these children. Coming back was like coming home again. Ive never felt more whole, more close to myself than when I am here, sitting with a child. As Manuel holds my hand, his bitty little dark fingers grasping mine, I can feel his breathing, his pulsing little body next to me. He is why I am here. This beautiful being is what I live for now. Not for myself, but for Him. I am open God, to whatever it is you need me to do. Break me, build me, and fill me. I am His.
.....

Thats all I have for now. I will keep you all updated as often as I can. The next time we talk, I will have a job at the Farm of the Child!!! Any bets on what theyll give me?! Possible options:

3rd and 4th grade math, science, and english teacher
5th and 6th grade math, science, and english teacher
7th-9th grade math, science, and english teacher
Social worker for house 3 (littlest boys) and house 6 (oldest girls)
Social worker for house 4 (second oldest boys) and house 5 (oldest boys)

Any takers on a guess? :-) Cuz I dont know!! ¡Solo Dios sabe!

Pues, I love you all. Thank you SO much for all the emails you sent. I promise I WILL respond to you all individually, but it may take me some time. I really cannot tell you how much it means to me to have my inbox filled with your words, even if its only a sentence or two.

Talk to you all soon I hope.

Love,
Francesca

PS Snail mail letters and/or packages are also HIGHLY appreciated!!!! (See address to the right)

¡Por fin! ¡La Finca del Niño!

2009-10-03T20:49:00.001-05:00

Queridos people,

Honduran politics cant stop THIS group! After many changed travel plans (from personal driver to bus to, unfortunately, plane), many different countries (Guatemala, stop in El Salvador for 30 mins, then Honduland), and finally a 3 hour bus ride, my group MADE it to the Farm of the Child this past Thursday! Perfectly safe and sound. WAHOO!!! What's up Honduras?!

We were greeted at the Farm by the entire community of children, house parents, nuns, and volunteers. I cried. A lot. And laughed and was overwhelmed a whole lot. I cant tell you all what a feeling it is to finally be back at this place that I love so much. And it is so excited that I am able to share such a beloved place with my the 7 amazing people that comprise the group of "newbie" volunteers.

There are many new faces at the Farm. Children have come and some have left. Yet the ones that remain greeted me with open arms and lots of smiles. Of course, for some of them I had to remind them of who I was, which usually included me saying, "Remember me? I came with that really BIG chico named Joe?" And then, with wide eyes of remembrance, they smile and embrace me. Followed by a quick "And where IS Joe?"...

Over a year has passed since I spent my 2 months on the Farm, but being here now, it feels like just a few weeks ago. I cant believe how incredible our children are here: how they embrace old and new volunteers as if we have known each other for our whole lives. They love us with the full knowledge that our time together is temporary. You might think that I have come to "help" these children, but I cant tell you how wrong that thought is. For these children have so much to teach me, so much to share. I cant wait.

I will keep this short as I havent had a lot of time to compose my thoughts. I am healthy, joyful, and safe. I miss you all a lot and I cant wait to hear from you soon. Please write me!

Love,Francesca

PS- Funny story from today. I went swimming with a bunch of kids in the ocean this morning (in my backyard!!). One of the little girls I was with was holding on to my waist and singing a bit. Then she stopped, looked up at me and said, with the sweetest and most sincere voice, "Ah Francesca, es gorda." Which means, "Ah Francesca, you're fat." She said it as if she was telling me I am the most beautiful girl in the world. For those of you who dont know, "gorda" (or "fat) is a term of endearment in this language. So really, my little friend meant to tell me that she cares about me. By calling me fat. I love Spanish.

Hey Honduras, could you open your borders please?

2009-09-26T17:43:00.001-05:00

There's a story and it goes like this:

"Simon, a fisherman is cleaning his nets after a day of fishing when Jesus approaches him and tells him to cast his nets once more. He does as he is told, and catches more fish than he can bring to shore. Jesus then asks Simon and his companions to follow him, and 'they left everything and followed him.'"

Bear with me, all those who do not relate to the religious elements of this story. If you want, pretend Jesus is actually a cool dude named Bob....:) I tell the story as a way of explaining myself a bit more, as a way to attempt to thank you all for all you've given me. For you are my fish, the coveted and cherished beings of my life that I have left behind to answer, what I feel is, God's call for me in my life. Although the thought of 2+ years in Honduras is a daunting task, I've got the easy side of this vocation, this call. For, as much as it hurts my aching heart to think of you all, I am filled with peace and exhilaration for this life here in Central America. I told a friend here the other day that saying "yes" to the Farm is like saying "yes" to eating ice cream everyday for the rest of my life. I love everything about what I am doing - I have been giving an incredible opportunity, a gift to be able to do this. Everything here fills me to the point of overwhelming freedom and love. I am living on the language here, its beautiful rhymthic motion and rolling letters. The people embrace me, surround me, guide me with their dark, leathered faces and black shiny hair. The smells, colors, sounds, and life move within me everyday. I have never felt so right with my being, with my self. And so, how can I say it was hard to say "yes" to something that is so absolutely life giving? Of course, life here will be challenging. I will be broken, mistaken, hurt, and lost at times. But these moments come and go no matter where we are in the world. And I have a God and a community that deeply love and care for me. How sweet is that? Ice cream, everyday.

But, my friends, you carry the bigger cross in my eyes. For, I do not make this journey on my own. You allowed me to leave, to say "yes" and embrace this new adventure of mine. You have loved me in such a way that you have allowed me to flourish, to be free in my self, in my person. In the story above, the focus is on the disciples and their willingness to say yes. But, as my friend Kate asks, what about the fish? What about all the people and places that we leave behind? They too play a role, perhaps the hardest one. You all had a choice and a response in my decision. You could have said "no" to my yes, you could have held me back, stopped me from going. But you didn't. You held me long enough to prepare me for my journey, then you let go. You all have truly given me the biggest gift of them all: a selfless and freeing love with the ability to be completely and wholly me. And for that, my fish, I thank you and I love you.

Now, on to Guatemala and my time here... :) For those of you who are wondering, I am still in Guatemala, in a town called Quetzaltenango or "Xela" for short. I have been taking spanish classes here for the past 2 weeks, living with a host family (and with two girls from my group that are going to Honduras) and loving everything about life here. I have an amazing teacher, who is determined to find me a Guate novio (boyfriend) before I go because she loves "mixing colors" HAHA! In Guate, the phrase for "looking for your soulmate" is "busco mi media naranja" or "I am looking for my half orange". Unfortunately (for my teacher) I did NOT find my half orange here with an Guate men, sorry profesora. I have learned so much Spanish from her, and I feel so ready and able to be at the Farm (no, i am not anywhere NEAR fluent, but I recognize this and have...to some extent... accepted it.)

My host family is AMAZING. There are so many people in our house, the food is incredible, and there are plenty of little kiddos to play with most days. They too have helped me with my spanish. I now know a lot of silly kid sayings to use at the farm (one of which is, Whats up pumpkin? haha). Life here is too good. I am fed 3 amazing meals everyday. I have hot water, electricity, and a bed (granted, it is infested with bed bugs...but Ill take them if it means I get to stay with my family here, they are so amazing). I am living with two girls from my group who are just amazing and spending time with everyone in my group. My community is incredible, diverse, funny, and beautiful. I am so excited to live with them, and share my life at the Farm with them.

As for the situation in Honduras these days. Politically, it is kind of a mess. For those of you who don't avidly keep up on Honduran politics here's the deal: The coup that happened earlier this summer is causing some problems for us getting to Honduland. We were all set to leave this morning to head towards our new home, but Michletti (the current "president" person) closed the borders a few days ago and issued a curfew for everyone throughout the country that significantly restricts our ability to travel. We are perfectly safe and sound in Xela, and we are (semi) patiently waiting for the time when we get our "go ahead" to leave for Honduras. As of now, the borders are actually back open and we are hoping to leave here tomorrow or Monday night via bus, or if necessary, plane. Please keep us in your thoughts. More importantly though, keep the people of Honduras in your prayers, especially those there with those smallest voices who are normally the ones most affected by political turmoil.

Thats all I have for now. I think of you all constantly and I miss you all a lot. Wherever you are, I am thinking of and praying for you.

Que vayas con Dios y su amor,
Francesca

Bienhechor

2009-08-04T21:20:00.001-05:00

Let me explain a bit more…

I want to share with you, my friends and family, my upcoming adventures. Also, many of you have asked how you can support me in my journey. This blog is my way of keeping you involved in the crazy pathI have ahead and giving you ways of supporting me along the road.

In October of 2009 I, along with 7 other "newbie" volunteers will start our 27 month commitment to the Farm of the Child. The Farm is an orphanage on the northern shore of Trujillo, Honduras in Central America. There at the Farm I will live in community with 15-20 other volunteers all striving towards the goal of raising (and being raised by ;-) ) 50 children who have been orphaned, abandoned, or taken from their families. Living by the four pillars of the Farm (simplicity, community, service, and prayer) we will be living amongst daily challenges, joys, humor, and, of course, God.

The word "bienhechor" in Spanish, is the word we use for benefactor. The word simply translates into “one who does good.” This is my invitation for each of you to become “one who does good” in the life of a volunteer and in the lives of Honduran children.

One of the greatest ways to contribute is by simply through prayer. Prayer is such a powerful way for us to stay connected to the children and people on the Farm, and to those family and friends we have at home and around the world.

A second wonderful way to get (and stay!) involved is to read the weekly e-mails and newletters I and the Farm will be sending out. If you’d wish to be a part of my e-mail list, please e-mail me your address (fpennino@gmail.com).
As part of this, LETTERS are highly appreciated!! (see address to the right) :-) I will be living quite far away from “instant” communication (such as computers and telephones) and letters are always a bright spot in my day. :)

A third way for you to support my work is by making a donation. In addition to the twenty-seven month commitment that each of my fellow volunteers and I make, we also pledge to raise the funds to cover our basic living, health, and travel expenses. In my case, these expenses amount to about $11,000 for the duration of my commitment. It’s never easy to ask for money, but no matter how much you have to give, it would mean the world to me and to all those at the Farm a donation would effect. To find out more check out the The Farm of the Child Website posted below (or ask me!).

To end, all I have are thank yous. Thank you for reading this page, for supporting me as much as you already have. Your presence in my life has lead me down the path to the Farm of the Child. And for that, I am forever grateful!

Please keep me updated on YOUR lives and your adventures. If there is any way I can support YOU, let me know as well. :)

La Paz.

Life and It's Plans for Me

2009-08-04T20:58:00.001-05:00

Many of you have asked what I will be doing in the years to come. I want you to know that I have committed myself to a program called “The Farm of the Child”. The “Farm” is a twenty-seven month commitment to live and serve on an orphanage on the northern shores of rural Honduras, Central America. While I am not sure what my role will be (either teaching, social work, or community outreach) I am sure it will be an adventure of love, prayer, and challenges! I will be in the States until September, at which point I leave for Central America.

For those of you who remember, I was at the Farm this past summer for two months. So, my committment will be a chance to return to a whole community of people and places I know and love.

More information to come…